Loss as a part of growing up

 Loss as a part of growing up

A brief dissertation on loss and growth examined through the lens of death and other factors

Introduction

At first thought, loss strikes us as tragedy. Indeed, the greatest losses in history are remembered as our greatest tragedies - the genocide of the Jews, the fall of Constantinople, the collapse of Rome.  Yet, the very nature of growing up is tied to loss - as will be elucidated in the essay. The context surrounding loss bears importance to societies, institutions of eminence, and governments of countries; however, it is to the individual that it is the most important and is thus treated accordingly in the essay.

Death and the family

In India, the family is the most powerful institution that one comes in relation with. Education, residence, food and clothing are amongst the myriad of things that comes within the influence of family. It is hence natural that the dynamics of loss are best felt within the family. The most striking example of this is death - while the prospect of familial death is universally frightening and emotionally painful, it is - arguably - in India that these entities promulgate themselves superlatively. Further, 'death' from a socio-literary angle portends a rather gloomy state. In Shakespeare's Hamlet, death is likened to uncertainty manifest - born of perennial pervasive thought. In Danto's Inferno, the seven circles of hells are described vividly, in their poetically glorious oppression. Growing up, children are exposed to this visceral reality. This is particularly true in India, where family participation in community events is the normative. A growing child, like the ever absorbent sponge, entrenches in the difference in ambience and behaviour in a funeral as opposed to marriage. Particularly espousing of this difference is the death of an immediate family member. The five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, described by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book ‘On Death and Dying’, lend themselves to the analysis of such grief as is wrought by death. 

Concurrently, children imbibe another aspect of death. Pan culturally, ancestors are seen as models based on which humans, especially children, must sculpt themselves. While in the West, the ‘Greco-Roman’ civilization of Classical Antiquity is much upheld; in the East, each familial lineage has its role models – Thiruvalluvar, Chandragupta, and the Buddha. That these entities are non-living does not insinuate a degree of nonexistence; indeed, they live on through us, their metaphysical progeny. At an individual level, young children are told about watchful ancestors and spirits from days gone, be it the Tooth Fairie or the spirit of one’s great grandfather. This dichotomous acculturation – to shared mourning as well as ancestral remembrance - is brought forth by loss - a wise guide on one's path in life. 

Migration

Human society has revolved around individuals engaging in fixed roles. Indeed, as Jacques from ‘As You like It’ satirises – All the World’s a Stage, All men are just players. Whereas this is poetically enchanting, in matters of mundane life, there are drastic connotations. The process of growing and acculturation are undoubtedly tied to the fabric of society. Migration can hence be a shaking experience. The migration of a populace as in the care of natural disasters, war and civil strife is associated with the loss of the existing social order and the subsequent development of a new one. 

Research has shown that children displaced by uncontrolled forces suffer from the fallout of their displacement to such extent that it compromises their capacity to adapt. Yet, the tenacity wrought from such displacement pushes many to heights inconceivable. The successes of migrant communities – for example, the Ashkenazi Jews and the Russians in America indicate this. Individual migration from place to place, constitutes a challenge in itself. A child learns to be resilient to change in environment but also must take up the additional cognitive load arising from a need to adapt. Essentially, loss due to migration is overtly disruptive of the existing social order for a child, but this disruption is what presages a child to versatility. Essentially, all that does not change withers away to nothingness.

Education

Loss also plays an important role in a child's academic path. Schools are melting pots of ideas and social structures. It is reasonable to suppose that there are hidden elements of loss in a day at school. The frequent change of classmates, lessons, school setting and teachers all constitute degree of 'loss'. It is not uncommon to see frantic efforts of reconciliation from growing children, insisting rebellion to such loss. On the other hand, these temper children to accept change as the natural way of things, enabling them to examine their personal hubris in the light of someone else’s loss. In today’s context, Elisabeth’s stages of loss, make themselves evident for analysis in schools – further highlighting their importance. The numerous reminiscences of individual experiences drawing upon the past – theirs and shared - are testament to the emblem of loss scorched in an individual’s education.

Conclusion

In summation, loss is an essential feature of every individual’s life. While growing up, the phenomenon of loss can be difficult to comprehend and merciless in its pickings. Yet it challenges, young individuals to reframe their life perspectives, primarily because adapting to loss would mean learning from that which is lost – figments structure of nature and society. Considering this optimistic evaluation of loss as a teacher and the limitless aspects of loss, of which the above discussion is only a sample, this exposition draws to a close.